did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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