he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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