Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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