it was like his penis was on wheels.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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