he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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