U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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