it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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