I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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