whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's shark week go big or go home
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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