please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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