can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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