Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize