I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize