yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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