his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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