it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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