highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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