nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize