but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize