Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need water and some morals
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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