Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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