She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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