he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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