i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize