great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
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That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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