She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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