Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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