you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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