Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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