Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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