White coat. Heels.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
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apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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