So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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