ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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