Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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