After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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