just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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