Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I had to cum in my sink.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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