I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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