turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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