Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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