And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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