I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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