so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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