i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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