My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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