Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize