So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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