you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize