Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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