everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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